When You Have to Ask, You Usually Don't Want to Know...

OK, so I may be able to communicate fairly well in this country, even here in Guangzhou where Cantonese is more commonly spoken. I am pretty comfortable asking for directions (and understanding the answer), negotiating prices, talking about my family, and even helping travel-group friends find their missing wallet and passport at the local amusement park (another story in and of itself...to be a part of a potential mini-series entitled "The Adventures of Lisa and Stan)...

I am NOT, however, very good at ordering food. Nope. I may know how to say the words for the major types of meats and the major types of vegetables. I may know how to ask for dumplings and noodles with no problem. But ordering a meal for a group in China is truly an art form. Put my adventuresome self with a table full of American adoptive parent friends and put me in charge of ordering for the group--let's just say you never know what might show up on the table for dinner.

And we didn't even know what some of it really was until 48 hours later.

So, backing up to Monday evening, after a full day of shopping at the pearl market, getting carsick after McDonald's, chilling in the hotel room, and walking around the local park, we decided to try a local Cantonese restaurant our guides had recommended. When we found the place, we were faced with tanks full of sea creatures and reptiles which we decided not to spend very much time looking over in favor of looking at the finished product on the menu photos instead. Our friends' 12-year-old daughter helped me navigate the menu, but oftentimes the photos were not very clear exactly what the dish contained, and the written descriptions (when I could read the characters) don't always tell you much about the actual contents either as the Chinese names are often more like literature or poetry ("fragrant freshnesses" and such).

Yuan Yuan and I actually eventually did head outside to choose a fish from the tanks at the strong urging of the wait staff (which didn't speak much Mandarin, mostly Cantonese). How to choose fish? I am not a fisherman...and generally buy fish from a case in a supermarket with labels that are very clear. I don't usually see my dinner swimming around just moments before it appears on my table. But, choose I did. I think it was a flounder (a flat fish with an eye on the upper side?) My dad would know what it was. I just knew it was not an eel or a turtle or an alligator tail or any other bizarre delicacy that none of us was eager to taste.

So, as the food came, we enjoyed it all, still not entirely sure what most of it was and finding that the noodles seemed a little rubbery but enjoying it nonetheless. Ya Ya ate it all with relish...the rest of us ate it all and felt mostly satisfied. But by the end of the meal, most everyone was making comments like "I could sure go for a Snickers bar." or "I'm in the mood for some ice cream" and what not. It made me feel bad that we had not ordered enough food and it was also not delicious enough that we wanted to order another dish or two to really fill us up. Instead we stopped for McDonald's ice cream cones on the way back to the hotel,laughing at the adventure of ordering food with a very large communication gap.

So, fast forward two days to tonight. I invited our CCAI guides to join our family and a few others for dinner so I could learn about ordering Cantonese food. Maggie and Grace are awesome, and happily agreed to come when they heard about my epic fail in ordering for our group. As they perused the menu, they invited me to look at it with them to tell me more about what the dishes are. When I saw on the menu one of the dishes we had ordered just 2 days prior, I asked them what it was (as the noodles had been so rubbery...we had thought maybe they were seaweed or something). Imagine the shock when they told me that what we had consumed was...GOOSE INTESTINES. Oh my word. Did we ever laugh. And I am pretty certain my friends will never EVER allow me to order food for them again.

They ordered an amazing array of delicious foods and every last bite was sumptious. We practically licked the plates clean. Food is important--it felt so good to be free of the responsibility of ordering for others. But we still do need to eat for a few more nights here...Grace and Maggie recommended another restaurant for another night--a Mongolian place--and assured me there is nothing weird on that menu. We shall see!

Is it Time to Go Home Yet?

OK, we are trying so VERY VERY hard to just kick back, relax, and enjoy the luxurious life we are living here. Really trying hard. I mean, what is there to complain about when we have plush beds we don't have to make, a gorgeous bathroom we don't have to scrub, delicious array of foods for breakfast day and nary a dish to wash. We really don't have to think very much if we don't want to, either, since our wonderful CCAI guides take care of that for us. (though speaking Mandarin all day long does require some thinking on my part). We are simply passing the time, trying to fill these free days while we wait for Bella's visa to be processed, so we can take our oath at the US Consulate and get on an airplane bound for Dulles.

Let me list the main reasons, however, that I find it REALLY hard to just simply take it all in and enjoy: Jared. Anna. Lilly. (oh yeah, and Tad). I know Tom could add to that list the feeling of achievement being at work each day too.

So, will somone pleaes remind me a few months from now--when I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and scrubbing dirty toilets--how much I should have enjoyed this last week in Bella and Lilly's birthland?

OK,now that I've said it, I'm more determined than ever to soak it in. I'll have to settle for pretend Skype hugs and kisses (and what Tom and I are calling Skype parenting) for 5 more sleeps.

Enough about that. Let me tell you more about Guangzhou.

Yesterday we spent the morning with the group visiting the same temple and Chen House that we visited with Lilly's adoption group. We also went back to the same Arts and Crafts store to buy some jade items. In the afternoon, I took a few friends with me back to the photo shop to pick up the prints from my disposable cameras and drop theirs off. On the way back we stopped in at a tea shop, which reminded me of Teavana in Tyson's Corner (though not nearly as ritzy!) where we got to sample some green teas and check out their supply of all sorts of other teas. We briefly stopped at a Chinese pharmace to get some saline for one of the babies with a stuffy nose, and--when asking about the dried seahorses they had in the Chinese medicine section--got to learn more than we wish we had known about the benefits for men.

In the evening we headed over to Shamian Island with a few families for some more shopping and dinner at Lucy's. We only at there once last time, and I don't really feel any need to go back this time--they serve a wide variety of foods including burgers and fries, Mexican, as well as Chinese. Bella ate half of the kung pao chicken I had ordered as well as her own order of a mini burger and fries (she claims she has eaten burgers before and loves them). It was a fun night with friends, for sure. Just like last time, I'm really going to miss our travel group and look forward to staying in touch back home and seeing our children grow up.

Today, after skyping with the kiddos and Grammy and Pop Pop, we headed with the group to have the TB results read (she was fine) and then moved on as a group to the Pearl Market. We got Bella some pearl earrings to match the ones we got Lilly and Anna when we were here last time. Then we headed to McD's since we were all hungry and it was right there. Bella seemed to enjoy every bite of her chicken nuggets and french fries...but the cab ride home was too much for her poor stomach and her lunch ended up in the zip loc bag that I now carry with me anytime we're in a car. Poor thing. And for the first time, she cried (not like the wailing from gotcha day or the orphanage, which was almost an animal-like cry for help, but the kind of cry that comes from a child who doesn't feel well and knows that mama and daddy care). We came up to the room and laid right down for a little nap. She is still snoozing now--I think all this shopping and activity is really wearing her out. I'm sure it's much more action than she's used to.

So, the challenge before us for the next few days is to find enough interesting things to do to help the time pass (and let us enjoy China), but not so much that Bella is exhausted.

Guangzhou--A Whole Different Kind of China

After a low key day in Zhengzhou yesterday--which we spent hunting (successfully) for dramamine for our carsick-prone girl and walking around the local park with our friends--we said our goodbyes to our awesome CCAI guides Yisha (who we also had when we adopted Lilly) and Vivien and boarded our flight to Guangzhou.

Our arrival was late and it was hard to keep my eyes open to listen to our guides explain the schedule for the next few days. Ya Ya didn't even try to stay awake and had a nice snooze as our bus made its way through Guangzhou traffic from the airport to the China Hotel.

We arrived so late we took no time whatsoever to familiarize ourselves with the hotel, so this morning when we got to see the loveliness of the hotel where we're staying for the next week, we were struck by the luxuriousness of it all. The breakfast buffet has no trouble whatsoever holding a candle to the buffet at the White Swan--the hotel on Shamian Island where adoptive families traditionally stay in Guangzhou but which is currently under renovation. Every kind of cuisine you can imagine is available, all freshly prepared before your eyes. And cappuccino. Mmmmm. OK, enough about the food. We are so roughing it.

This morning we headed on the bus to the medical exam--a very cursory exam for all adoptees. Ya Ya did great--not showing any signs of fear even when faced with a TB test prick. The doctor who examined her, when looking over her paperwork and seeing her identified special need as "low intelligence/delayed development" asked us if we felt like she was delayed at all. We told him from our observationns she really appears pretty normal; he seemed to agree though he didn't really use words to express it. He genuinely seemed to wish us the best, however, as he finished up her file and sent us on our way.

We got to spend about an hour on the island visiting the shops and buying some items--and some of the shopkeepers remembered us from 2009. We headed back to the hotel for some noodles for lunch and some down time.

The three of us then walked around the area around the hotel, found a place to drop off the disposable cameras I had sent to have the photos developed, and just took in the Guangzhou scenery. Ya Ya seems content to just hold our hands and walk with us; she also enjoys our hallway or play room playdates with other families, so she and I went to the playroom while Baba hit the treadmill this afternnoon. This place is filled with adoptive families from all over the world--even some Mennonite families are here adopting.

Ya Ya (she is still learning to say Bella) is truly coming alive before our eyes, showing more personality each day. When we are driving on the bus, it is fun to watch her face as she gazes out the window at passing scenery. She is most quiet on the bus, making me wonder what might be going through her mind as the sights whiz by her eyes. Maybe she is just mesmerized; maybe she is remembering where she came from and wondering about her life ahead. Only God knows. But I am pondering up all of these moments in my heart for now. I look forward to someday hearing what she remembers from her past life.

In this hotel, I feel more disconnected form the other families in our travel group because we are scattered throughout the hotel, but we have many fun group activities planned so we can still be connected.

I know all of us are VERY readyy to be home and reunited with our families at home. I simply cannot wait to see Bella with Jared, Anna, and Lilly and let them meet their sister. I am praying for a harmonious integration for Bella into the family and family rhythms; and for open hearts from her siblings as she begins to be grafted in.

OK, enough words for now, off to dinner with the group for us.

My Husband is a Genius!

Tom made a way to get photos from here to there and there to here...here are some of the better ones, most of which you have already seen if you are on Facebook...

Have I Mentioned that She's Ours?

Today made that even more evident than any adoption decree could.

After a quick skype to the kids and Grammy at home (I sure miss those guys!! Sorry I wasn't there to help with your Chinese homework, Jared!), we packed up some donations and headed to the van to take us to the Luoyang CHildren's Welfare Center, about a 2-hour drive from here. One other adoptive mom from our travel opted to come since her son was also from Luoyang; the other two Luoyang families opted not to come (just as we opted not to go to Lilly's orphanage because of the distance and possible emotional trauma for Lilly).

The ride itself was mostly uneventful--it was nice to talk to the other adoptive mom, who has also adopted from the Ukraine--except for Ya Ya getting carsick about two thirds of the way there. (of course I hadn't brought extra clothes).


We had explained where we were going and that it would only be a quick visit, but that she would come back with Mama and Baba. WHen I asked her if she wanted to go see her friends and ayis, she actually slightly shook her head "no." I made sure she thoroughly understhood she would not be staying there again by having our guide reiterate it in case I wasn't making it clear enough in my Mandarin, and she still didn't seem thrileld by the idea of going. We still carried through with our plan to go, figuring she would still do ok and we really wanted to see where she had lived and have the chance to get some photos of the children there for waiting and prospective adoptive parents in the States, just as we had benefitted from others sending us photos of Isabel while we waited.

When we pulled up, her face brightened when she first saw the outside of the building. She very clearly recognized it. She managed to say hello to the director who met us at the entrance. THen we went in. The smell was the same smell that was on her clothes when we received her--not a good stench. It was pretty grim and dark in the hallways. They led us down the hallway to see her "school room" and her little classmates were SO excited to see her! They came running over calling out her name and smiling. The teachers/ayis were also happy to see her and smiled and said "look! Huanya has come to see us!" Isabel responded by closing her eyes and wailing a wail quite similar to the one she had cried the day we received her. Please don't leave me here with these people! Only *this* time we were the GOOD people.

I immediately scooped her up and held her close, remining her quietly that we were only visiting and would soon leave to go back to the hotel with Mama and Baba. The ayis gave me a piece of artwork she had done at some point, and then we moved on to see the sleeping rooms. I continued to carry her (she is quite heavy!) throughout the orphanage after that, just to reassure her and prevent any ayis from attempting to pick her up. One of them actually attempted to take her from my arms but I held tight and leaned back and Isabel made no motion toward the ayi at all. By the time we got to see her bedroom, she was secure enough to set down and she immediately pointed out her bed to me when we walked in. She willingly Stood by the bed for a photo, but the look on her face is clearly not the same joyful look she has had for the past few days...much more subdued. Once we got outside again, she was willing to smile and pose for some pictures in front of the orphanage.

I had hoped to talk with some 12 year old twin boys, but they were still in class. So we said we would come back after visiting the train station where the other adoptive mom's child had been found abandoned. She took lots of photos there, then back to the orphanage we went so I could meet the boys. That meeting went well and I have some photos and some video footage to share with a prospective adoptive family. Isabel and Tom stayed in the van while I did that to further solidify to her that she is absolutelty DONE at that place and when we got back to the van Tom told me she hadn't stopped babbling happily to him (in Chinese) since I had left. She has been more animated and happy now more than ever. She seems to have even more life rather than just a pleasant attitude, showing more personality and talking more. I think it is sinking in her for as well as for us that she is, indeed, ours and nothing can change that now.

We were supposed to stay and have lunch with the orphanage director and some workers after that, but Isabel had starting throwing up in the van after the train station, so we had a good reason to bow out of lunch.

Once we got back and had a nice bath and did lots of laundry, we have been having hallway playtime with the other kiddos and their parents. We have opted not to take part in any tours tomorrow so she doesn't have to ride in the car again (since the next day we fly to Guangzhou).

An update on our friends adopting the 12-year-old, praiase the Lord she has given her consent and has even become friends with an American 11-year-old in our group who is here adopting her little brother with her family. They are even having a slumber party in the hotel tonight after a girls' shopping afternoon with one of the guides and the 12-year-old's new adoptive mom. Praise the Lord! They definitely will have work ahead of them, but a huge hurdle is now over and it is so good to see smiles on their daughter's beautiful face now that she has a friend.

We are praying for better rest tonight than we have had for the past few nights...Tomorrow will be a low-key day--we may try to hit the pool with Bella and see how she likes it.

And, yes, I am still technologically inept. Because I am updating the blog on my iPad, and my photos are on my iPhone, I cannot seem to find a way to get the photos from there to here. Even when the photos are on my iPad, I cannot seem to find a way to get them onto the blog. I kjnow a way must exist, but someone more technologically savvy than me (and less droid-centric than Tom!) will have to show me someday. For now, I will continue to put most of my (many) words here, and some of my photos on Facebook (*not all of them as upload speeds are so slow...)

Thanks for reading!

She is Ours!

Yesterday was official adoption day. Huanya is now legally our daughter...even though she has been our daughter in our hearts for 10 months. It was almost breathtaking as I stared at the adoption decree and realized that--yikes! I am Mama to 4 kiddos now!

She continues to simply be happy, cooperative, smiley, and sweet. She was easily entertained with crayons at the notary's office, and simply stood by my side as we waited for the adoption paperwork to be finalized at the registraion office--the very room where just 24 hours prior she had grieved the removal from her ayi and her placement into our arms. We had more ramen noodles for lunch in the room, and headed to the Lotus Center for soome shopping this afternoon.

This experience has been so different from our trip to bring home Lilly. Different ages and different personalities has made this almost too easy this time...we were ready for a much more difficult trip.

We continue to spend time with a couple here, who are here adopting a 12 year old girl. They are an amazing couple--losing a son 2 yuears ago and now attempting to welcome home a little girl who has experienced so many losses of her own. They are now facing the prospect of this little girl possibly turning her back on this opportunity for a new life, as she is struggling to give her verbal consent for the adoption. Lisa and Stan are amazing to me and I find myslef praying for them constantly and helping them to communicate as much as I can.

Last night we all had somewhat fitful sleep...even Ya Ya, though you would hardly know except that she lies quietly and whispers to herself.

Tom and I each were not feeling well yesterday but some zithromycin and some motrin hasa done wonders for me.

Today we visit Luoyang Orphanage. Hoping to visit some 12 year old boys who have a family considering their file. Praying that Ya Ya will not be in any way traumatized by going back to this place, but will understand this is just a visit and mama and baba are forever.

Time for breakfast! Then on with the day. Photos to come on Facebook!

Official Adoption Day in Zhengzhou

Morning, February 13 "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of God." 1 John 3:1 , 2 "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us. Consider who we were, and what we feel ourselves to be even now when corruption is powerful in us, and you will wonder at our adoption. Yet we are called "the sons of God." What a high relationship is that of a son, and what privileges it brings! What care and tenderness the son expects from his father, and what love the father feels towards the son! But all that, and more than that, we now have through Christ. ~Charles Spurgeon

The paragraph above was in my devotional yesterday morning, the day we received Isabel. How appropriate and how gracious of God to give us this reminder on the very day that we adopt her as our daughter.

I stand amazed at what a smooth first 24 hours we have had with Ya Ya. I know we are likely to have some rough moments--especially as she feels more comfortable and safe with us and make be less inclined to be compliant all the time--but she has been so pleasant and easy so far.

Last night it was so fun to watch her smile at the screen when we skyped with Anna and Lilly (Jared was already out the door to school), and she happily played with her new little doll in Baba's lap as he dozed. She has no problem letting me brush (and brush and brush) her teeth (which surprised me--when I saw how bad her teeth looked I suspected she had never seen a toothbrush before or had always put up a fight when brushing). When I told her it was time for bed, she smiled and said "ok!" and happpily cllimbed up into what is probably to softest, plushest bed in which she has ever slept, wearing new soft fuzzy footy PJs, and laid right down. I prayed over her and kissed each of her hands and her forehead just as I do with Lilly and she just smiled. I told her daddy and I were tired too and would be going to bed soon in the other bed and she said "ok!" By the time we were done brushing our teeth and getting ready for bed, she was asleep without a whimper.

It is now 6:40am and she is still sleeping soundly--barely a peep through the night (just sleeping noises and squeaks now and then). I am curious to see how she'll feel when she wakes up and sees that this is all not just a dream.

Today is the official adoption day--after breakfast we will head to the registration office and the notary office to have all of the paperwork sealed, notarized, then sent for translation.

Tomorrow we may get to visit the orphanage at Luoyang--today we will continue to evaluate her to decide if a visit will cause her any anxiety or renewed grieving. I suspect she will do just fine.