Catching Up on Recent Events, Part I: The Boston Marathon

OK, now that I've manged to give you the low down on our biggest news story, (which, if you missed it, you can read below or click here), let me turn to other recent events and fill you in.



So, by the way, I ran the Boston Marathon last Monday, April 18th.  I qualified for it last year running the Tallahassee Marathon in 3:49:59, barely squeaking in under the qualifying standard for my age group.  The Boston Marathon is held on Patriot's Day each year, and in Boston (and in the world of running) it is a BIG DEAL.  I have never felt like such a celebrity in all my life, honestly.  It was exhilirating.  Not to mention, it was a fabulous weekend for me to get away alone, to catch up with old friends, run unexpectedly into another old friend, and get to know some acquaintances a lot better. 

I flew up on Saturday, and spent the first night with friends Tim and Sarah Leary, and their cutie-patootie little man, Zeke.  We have been supporting Tim and Sarah for a number of years in their campus ministries to students both here and overseas--but had never really interacted on a personal level--and it was really cool to have some time in their home to get to know them better and hear about their lives just a little bit.  An added bonus was that Tim had run the Boston Marathon several times as a "bandit"(someone who did not qualify for the race but hopped into the back of the pack to run the 26.2 miles "for fun" anyway)!  So it was great to pick Tim's brain about the course, race strategies, pre-race fueling, and the best way to get to the start without having to rise at ungodly hours and stand in the cold for lengthy time periods.  It was also great on Sunday morning to worship with Tim and Sarah at Park Street Church on Palm Sunday. While taking in the beauty of this old church in the heart of Boston, it was exciting for me to spot in the choir one of my former economics professors from my graduate school days at Hopkins SAIS in DC~Judy Dean. We got to connect after the service, and it was great to catch up a bit.

Park Street Church, Boston

Beautiful old sanctuary

During the service, I spotted in the choir loft a woman who looked exactly like one of my former economics professors in graduate school at Hopkins SAIS, Judy Dean.  As she sang with the choir, I was more and more convinced that, either Judy has an identical twin sister, or she is now living and worshiping in Boston.  Tim, who had gone down to the microphone to offer the closing prayer for the service kindly invited her upstairs to meet "someone who thinks she knows you from Hopkins."  Lo and behold, it was indeed Judy Dean.  Judy is the faculty member that helped a fellow grad student and me to inaugurate a graduate student investigative Bible study in her home 20 years ago.  How exciting for me to see her, and to hear that the fellowship taht we started so many years ago is still going strong today!   

After saying farewell to Judy (and promising to connect on facebook, which we have since done!), I set out into Boston to take in some sights and make my way to the race expo to pick up my race packet and my bib.  It was a gorgeous, clear, warm day--perfect for walking and stretching my legs after traveling the previous day.  I walked through Boston Commons and was excited to see the very pond and swan boats written about in the children's classic Make Way for Ducklings.  I snapped a shot and quickly texted it to Tom to show the girls.

Some other fun sights from my meanderings before the expo:

The history of the Boston Commons, and Paul Revere's ride

Signs of the marathon were all over town...much excitement in the air, and athletes
everywhere sporting Boston Marathon jackets from previous years' races.

Finally, I made my way past the finish line on Boylston Street and on the the expo a few blocks farther.  How exciting to see the very spot I would finish my (hopefully) slightly less than 4 hours of running the next day! 

After perusing the expo with a fellow Niceville runner, Anne Gwinnup (the expo was CRAZY--so much running gear, running food, running drinks, running clothing, and official (and expensive!) Boston Marathon logo clothing), I headed back to the Leary's on the T (subway) for a little bit of down time.  Tim then took me to my Bed and Breakfast a few miles away in Cambridge where I would spend the next two night--pre-race and post-race.  Cute rowhouse, near the campus of Harvard, owned by a woman who is a former-lawyer-now-artist/equestrian.  My room was on the 3rd floor, which I knew would be painful the day after the race.

I should have taken more photos at the expo to capture the vast size and the pure madness of all the booths, all the athletes, and all the excitement.  THis is just the entrance where you pick up your race packet, official T-shirt, and Bib #.

After unloading all my expo gear, I headed back into Boston on the T to meet up with Anne at the race participants' pasta dinner at City Hall.  We loaded up on pasta, salad, bread, and brought home with us Greek yogurts and lots of drinks they made available to the athletes.  Back to the B&B with a full tummy, anxious to get my gear in order for the morning and get into bed a little bit early. 

And...stay tuned for the next post...the actual run!

Isabel Faith: The Back Story

Wow, so much can happen in just a few short weeks...there is much to fill everyone in on in our lives!  Although there are many places I could start, I know the main thing you all want to hear about is this sweet child:

Dang Huanya, age 4, Luoyang City Children's Welfare Institute, Henan Province.  Photo taken on 4/2/11.

 
Yes, that's our daughter...that's our newest mei mei.  Isabel Faith Cantilina.  She has already stolen each of our hearts, and mine is all a-flutter with the thrill of knowing that she will soon (but not soon enough) be in our family, in our lives, in our home forever.

Let's take another look:

She has a pocket full of cookies that you can see if you zoom in.  (I don't know why someone is parked on the playground)

Her Chinese name, Huanya 欢雅, means joyous and elegant, with the 雅 "ya" portion of her name being the same Chinese character used for the name of God, "Yahweh."  I thought that was way cool. 

I know our news may have taken some folks by surprise and may seem sudden, so let me back up and give you the details... 

I have been eager and ready to adopt again for about a year now, roughly a year after we brought Lilly home.  Tom, while not opposed to the idea of adding another child to our family, was not convinced that we were ready quite yet to pursue another adoption, given that we had big things ahead with Lilly and her first surgery.  (Wise man.  God has blessed me immensely in giving me Tom and his calm, analytical, and logical way of looking at life.  I would have myself in heaps of trouble without him!)

So, I made myself stop thinking about children waiting for families and stop looking at their precious photos online because I was only torturing myself.  Instead, for the next year, I enjoyed reading other folks' adoption blogs and rejoiced with each family I saw welcoming a new child into their lives, sometimes two children at a time.

Besides, there was plenty to think about and do in our everyday lives.  You all know that if you have been reading along lately...never a dull moment around here. 

But, believe it or not, the day of Lilly's big surgery in Phildadelphia, while Tom and I were in the waiting room for all those hours, with nothing to do but spend time together waiting, we got to talking.  And Tom is the one who brought it up.  And the gist of the conversation was that, as long as Lilly came through her surgery well, we would start "looking" at children.  Some caveats:  we DO want to eventually be empty-nesters, so we were not really wanting to bring home a baby, or even a toddler (unless God made it clear otherwise).  

Incredulously, as Tom went for a quick walk and potty break, what did I do?  I went over to the computers in the waiting room and started looking at the profiles of waiting children.  Yes, folks, I did.  I felt a little sheepish, since Lilly was concurrently "under the knife" so the speak.  I looked at sweet little faces online only for a few minutes before I realized that my heart was too tied up in waiting for Lilly to be thinking clearly and I went back to my sitting, reading, praying, and waiting for Dr. Campbell to finish up with Lilly.  And, as you well know, the following weeks were just a little crazy with caring for LIlly post-op, caring for my mom and her big pneumonia, and getting back into the swing of normal life.  But I had a little stirring of excitement in my heart knowing that there was a good possibility that we could someday be welcoming another child home.

So, about a month ago, at the end of March, as I was browsing through profiles of children on our adoption agency's (CCAI) website, I came across these photos and this description:



"Dang Huan Ya, female, born June 5, 2006, was discovered abandoned on December 9, 2009...

...Her little face grew rosier and her weight also increased. Her physique grew stronger. Currently, Huan Ya’s personality is cheerful, lively, and active. Every day, she is joyful. She can walk freely. She can speak fluently. She can say sentences of 3-5 words long. She is basically the same as a healthy child. When getting dressed, she chooses the clothing she likes. When she has new clothes, she will tell other people. When guests come to the house, she knows to move the seats to allow them to sit down. When they leave, she says good bye. She basically can take care of herself. She goes to the bathroom to defecate and urinate. She can take off and put on an article of clothing. She likes to watch television and listen to music. Moreover, she can follow the beat to wave her hands and feet to. She can go up and down the stairs on her own. When she sees a stranger, she can take the initiative to greet them. She is a very cute little lady."

I e-mailed her description and photo to Tom at work for him to take a look, and went about my day.  Later in the day, when we were on the phone discussing our usual afternoon logistical details ("how is your afternoon shaping up?  What time should I plan for dinner?  etc...) I hesitatantly asked "Did you get my e-mail?"  He chuckled and said "I wondered when you were going to bring that up."  Yes, he got the e-mail, and yes, he thought she looked like a perfectly wonderful little girl.  Yes, I should go ahead and request a look at her full file from CCAI.

So, before I embarked on my normal afternoon tasks--get kids from school, get kids to various activities, get dinner on the table, etc--I sent off a quick e-mail to Pam at CCAI requesting her file.  Pam said she'd add us to the list of families waiting to review it.  I figured we probably would not ever get a chance to see it because surely someone ahead of us would go ahead and submit paperwork to begin the process of adopting her. 

Less than a week later, however, Pam did e-mail her file, and Tom and I spent a few days reviewing it, discussing it, praying over it, asking followup questions about her.  There was much to ponder.

• She is just 10 weeks younger than Lilly, so she would be a virtual twin.  This could present some unique parenting challenges.
• She is quite a bit older than Lilly was when we brought her home.  And she was abandoned at a much older age--age 3.  This could also present some unique challenges and differences in her ability to bond quickly with us.
• While physically she is in good health, her "special need" is a diagnoses of "low intelligence" or "below average intelligence."  Her file shows her significantly delayed globally--gross motor, fine motor, verbal, emotional/social, intellectual. 

The first two issues didn't take long to think through.  The idea of these two sweet girls each having a sister nearly the same age, with the same heritage, growing up in the same forever family just fills me with joy.  Although I know the adjustment could be rocky, I suspect that Lilly will rise to the occasion and she and her sister will be good friends and playmates for one another. 

The third issue is, I suspect, the only reason Tom and I even had a chance to see her file.  I'm sure a diagnosis like this--and the unknowns it entails--makes many families hesitant.  (Again, I am blessed with a man with good sound knowledge and wisdom and i trust him completely).  Tom looked through her file, her developmental tests, her CT scan (brain looks normal), and watched her video, and he feels completely comfortable bringing her home.  We suspect that her delays are primarily environmental, rather than pathologic, in nature, and our hope is that a stable, warm, nurturing family environment--probably coupled with some early intervention education--will be just what she needs to catch up to age-appropriate developmental milestones. 

We talked to each of the kids separately about the prospect of having another sister, and they were each pretty excited.  Jared said "that would be cool!" and Anna said "Really?  Wow--ok!"  Lilly took a little longer to grasp what we were saying, but in the end she was fully on board declaring her excitement to share her toys, her room, and "give her cheerios" (she remembers Anna giving her cheerios when we first met herin China).  With regard to her possible intelligence issues, Anna put it best, when she asked about her special need, saying emphatically and matter-of-factly: "Oh, we can help her with that!!"

That is, indeed, our hope, and so we stepped out in faith and, on April 6th, we submitted our letter of intent to adopt Dang Huanya on  and we are stepping out in faith.  That being said, we have also had to decide that, even if Isabel is truly delayed and has no hope of ever truly catching up, we are ok with that too.  God will equip us with what we need for whatever circumstances we might face.

So, I am now in the throes of feverishly doing the paperwork as fast as humanly possible, all the while getting ready for our move this summer (more to come on that), getting ready for Lilly's next surgery (next month), and just doing normal life as my big kids' school year draws to an end in just over 3 weeks.

So, with many more things to tell you about in recent weeks (like, oh yeah, I ran the Boston Marathon (bib number 18883) last week!) I will sign off here for now, and leave you with this sweet video of Isabel, taken while they were administering a developmental test on her:

You Know Life Has Returned to Normal When...

...I don't post any blog updates for more than a month!  And the only reason I even have time to sit here and do this now is because Tom is passed out way early tonight after being called in for a baby delivery at 3 am last night and then putting in a full day at work.

Apologies to those of you left hanging after my last blog update, wondering how my mom is doing, wondering how Lilly's recovery is going, wondering if I have dropped off of the face of the earth...

Life is, once again, "normal" for all of us, praise be to God!

So, let me do a little catching up for all of us (especially those of you who don't keep up on Facebook, where I do tend to post a *little* bit more frequently).  When I last wrote, my mom had been discharged and was recovering in a nearby residence graciously offered by friends.  Lilly was slowly getting through her post-op pain, was beginning her physical and occupational therapy, and was slowly easing back into her preschool routines.  And we were all getting back up to stride in our regular routines here at home.

Whew, what a difference a month of so can make!

My parents drove safely back to PA after a week or two of Florida sunshine and some precious time here with all of us and are doing great back at home.  I have to say I really enjoyed having them right around the corner, able to pop over for dinner several times a week, come to church with us, and go out to eat with us--not to mention all the help with gardening, house projects, dog walking, homework, carpooling, and general parenting wisdom.  It was a blessed few weeks, despite the circumstances that got us there.  Maybe someday we will live is the same zip code, or at least the same state.




Celebrating everyone's "wellness" at the Chinese buffet!

 

Lilly, for her part, is back to school all 3 days, has graduated from her PT, and is making great strides in her OT, working on range of motion, strength, and flexibility--particularly in her left side, the side that was most expanded during her surgery.  She never ceases to amaze us, and has nearly mastered riding her two-wheeler with training wheels (it is still a bit big for her, but she has been eying that bike in the garage for over a year now, knowing that it would someday be hers.  The trike is history).  She also gave her teachers a scare yesterday when she decided to try some somersaults at school as the kids were apparently all showing off their gymnastic abilities.  She seemed to suffer no ill effects from that stunt, though I am hoping she doesn't make it a habit...not sure her rods are really meant to withstand acrobatics.



 So, what else have we been up to?  What does "normal" mean?  Well, let's see...



...spring break=time to romp in the woods with good friends...

...spring break also=sleepovers and play dates with good friends...


 



...time to "chill out" as a family...

 

...fun at the Bay with the Barracudas swim team learning how to use the yolo board--stand-up paddle-boarding...



 

...time for Jared to create homemade survival gear--like this hammock--and enjoy the outdoors...

 





...we celebrated Lilly's 2nd anniversary of "family day"--the day we met her two years ago in China, oh, and someone had her 5th birthday, complete with a Build-A-Bear party...



 

So there you have the highlights of what we have been up to...

Even more exciting--and somewhat daunting--are the big things that are approaching quickly...

• I am heading to Boston in less than 3 weeks for the Boston Marathon on MOnday, 18 April, Patriots' Day.  My training for this one has been a bit sporadic, given the events of early 2011, but I am excited just to have qualified and have an opportunity to participate in this exciting, world-renowned race.  I am relinquishing any self-imposed pressure to do a PB and will simply enjoy the experience.  A great run time will simply be icing on the cake.  I am thankful for Hopkins friends, now Bostonians, who will be offering me hospitality and some transportation!  And excited to see a long-lost college roommate and fellow collegiate swimmer. 
• We are awaiting final word on our next assignment...stay tuned!  It seems to be narrowed down to two locations, both of which are exciting and appealing in their own ways.  We are hoping to have a more definitive word (as in actual orders!) sometime in the next few weeks.  Then follows the inevitable PCS chaos of listing the house for rent or sale, showing the house (which means keeping it clean--yikes!), researching our new location, choosing a neighborhood/schools, etc...  Not to mention the chaos of the move itself...
• We are already looking at Lilly's next surgery, currently scheduled for mid-May, around the time that school lets out for the summer here in Niceville. 

So, if you don't hear from me again on this blog for some time, you now know why!  And always assume that no news means good news...

May you have a blessed Easter!  Thanks for reading!

The Same God

I am finally beginning to feel like all is well with the world, or at least with my little sphere of it.  What a month February has shaped up to be for our family.  It has been a stressful time both emotionally and physically as we worried about my mom, cared for Lilly in her recovery, and also attempted as much as possible to re-enter the normal daily routines with Jared and Anna and the many activities their lives entail.  Not to mention the stress for Tom as he re-entered an already chaotic work enviornment after two weeks away, with much uncertainty remaining as to our next assignment, all the while knowing there was much happening at home. 

As I went for a much-needed long run on Monday--needing to expend the physical energy to relieve stress and take some time away alone--I found myself praying and reminding myself that the God that brought Lilly through her surgery and guided Dr. Campbell's hands is the very same God that was at work in my mom's body and working through her doctors and nurses here.  He was so very good to guide my mind and my heart to remembering that He is more than able to do all things, and has purposes and plans--often involving circumstances we wouldn't choose for ourselves--that surpass our ability to understand.

So, after 3+ days in ICU and 6 additional days in a regular hospital room spent recovering from a "bad pneumonia," my mom was thankfully discharged today from the local hospital.  The fabulous doctor who took care of her during the first few days of her stay told her she had "walked as close to the edge of the cliff as you ever want to let yourself get, without falling off."  We celebrated at my house tonight with dinner at a kitchen table in a normal house...no hospital trays, no styrofoam cups and drinking straws, no hospital gowns, no medical staff (well, Tom was there, too, but only in the capacity of super-husband, daddy, and son-in-law).  My folks will stay here locally in a home that is less than 2 miles from us which is being graciously opened to them while its owners reside in their permanent home elsewhere.  We are so grateful for the Air Force family--one Air Force set of grandparents helping another set of Air Force grandparents out.  So my folks can be very nearby and we can enjoy spending time together, while they also can have their own quiet and germ-free space so my mom can be comfortable and can get the rest she needs before they venture northward to PA (and the ice and cold--who needs it?).

As for Lilly, she continues to become more and more herself, and is nearly fully adapted to her new shape and new stature.  There are a few daily tasks that are still more difficult for her because of her balance, coordination, and lack of flexibility, but we are working on those day by day and she is making great progress.  (This mama is having to get used to her new height too--I whacked her head with the microwave oven door as she helped me bake sugar cookies to take to the hospital because she *used* to fit under the microwave oven door when standing on the step stool.  No longer.  Silly mama!)  She had her first OT appointment today, and next week will also begin receiving PT in addition to the OT to help her build strength, flexibility, and coordination, and teach her some strategies to do things in new ways when needed.  She is still quite obviously needing her pain meds regularly...she will show signs of pain and discomfort after about 4-5 hours between doses, and within 15-20 minutes of taking her next dose, will begin to act totally like Lilly again.  She is also beginning to stretch out her sleep a little bit at night, so I am feeling a bit more rested every day. 

Here are a few videos from the past week or so, showing some of the things we have been up to...

First is a clip of Anna swimming the 50 yard backstroke at her recent District Championship swim meet in Pensacola.  She came within a few tenths of a second of qualifying for the Southeastern Regional Championships--we were really proud of her and she had a great meet, dropping time in every single event she swam last Saturday and Sunday.  Most exciting was watching the relays--she anchored the freestyle relay, and she led off the medley relay with the backstroke leg.

Next is a clip (sorry, barely any sound through the door!) of Jared playing his trombone solo at the regional "Solo and Ensemble" competition for middle school band students.  He scored a "Superior" rating--the highest rating awarded by the judges.  Tom was able to stand outside the door, but it was just Jared, the accompanist, and the judge in the room.  He has been working hard on his trombone and it shows.

Finally, here is a short clip of Lilly's first post-surgery steps while in CHOP.  I think this was probably post op day 2 or 3....  I had hoped to post this side-by-side with video of her walking around now looking so normal and tall and coordinated while walking, but that clip will have to wait...I have had no time to video anything!  THis one is a bit painful to watch, and I'mnot sure if I can get it to flip from being sideways...

So now, we continue to allow Nana to gain strength and clear her lungs, help Lilly to adapt and hopefully soon wean her off of her narcotics (she'll be thrilled to go back to preschool when those drugs are no longer necessary), and await word on whatever lies ahead for Tom's career and our family.  This week was the week to register Jared for high school and Anna for middle school, so we have gone ahead and done that *just in case* we're not moving, even though the odds are that we will be elsewhere for the next school year.

Stay tuned!

Home but far from Normal

We got home Wednesday afternoon, thankful for smooth flights and a mostly happy and pain-free girl as we travelled. 

What we came home to was the hard part. 

Nana was not well at all.  I was in my house roughly 5 minutes before leaving the house again with my mom and dad and heading to the local ER.  Lilly was excited to be home, see her siblings, see the cute Bitty Baby crib that Pap Pap had built for her, and didn't even notice my departure.

Nana had tried to tough it out for just a few days too long, and was admitted straight into the ICU with a "big pneumonia."  She is getting good care now, and is doing much better. 

I am SO glad we came home Wednesday instead of coming as planned tomorrow, Friday the 18th. 

So we are happily home, getting unpacked and slowly getting back into the swing of things here. 

But we are still spending some time at a hospital bedside, praying for speedy healing and recovery for Super Nana.

I won't be blogging for awhile...much to tend to here at home. 

When I do get back on, I hope to post video of Lilly's first post-surgery steps alongside video of her walking so smoothly now.

VEPTR Procedure Wrap Up: Lessons Learned and A Week in Photos

Now that we are out of the hospital and enjoyed a MUCH better night's sleep here at Grammy's house last night, I have been reflecting on all that we have experienced and endured these past two weeks, particularly starting a week ago today with Lilly's surgery.  My pondering--in no particular order--includes the following:

• Sleep is overrated.  Especially uninterrupted sleep.  Even beds are overrated.  Sleeping on pillows on the hospital floor will suffice if necessary.
• Ditto for daily showers.  Totally overrated.
• The hospital--the place where you most need to rest following major surgery--is not the place to get that rest.
• Watching your child suffer great physical pain is very difficult to do.
• Children are amazing in their ability to trust and to adapt.
• You know you've lived in Florida too long when you are out for a run in the chilly Philly air and you still find yourself looking for gators in the water and mistaking debris on the sidewalk for snakes.
• Tag team parenting is not fun but is beginning to feel normal. 
• Missing my man at night is not something I want to get used to.  
• Family is so very valuable.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think of all the help our families have provided: willing to travel thousands of miles and disrupt their own normal routines, willing to care for sick children and contract serious viruses, willing to walk my dog and transport my big kids, willing to cook and clean my toilets, willing to line up ground transportation for us travellers, willing to come and visit in the hospital despite long drives, willing to cook meals and bring presents, willing to do anything we might need without a second thought.
• Friends, church family, and good neighbors are also so valuable: I know so many of our friends and neighbors have been helping in many ways with our big kids back at home.  We are so grateful.
• Modern technology--which has allowed me to keep friends and family updated on our status and has allowed you all to send us notes of encouragement--is amazing.  I truly craved and thrived on the encouragement I received from all of your blog comments and text messages and facebook messages, and e-mails. 
• Modern medical research and technology is also amazing.  The fact that Dr. Campbell was able to take Lilly's spine, which had progressed to over 140-degrees of curvature, and in just 5-6 hours correct it to a roughly 80-degree curvature adding 3 inches to her height, simply astounds me.
• Nothing can substitute for a solid faith in our strong and mighty God.  He is so very good, and I so grateful that He is the God who hears our prayers, who knows our needs, who heals, and who is more than able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

As we look forward to getting home tomorrow and hugging Jared and Anna and seeing Nana and Pap Pap, we are also realizing that "normal" is still quite a ways away for all of us. 

• There are many normal daily tasks that Lilly still struggles to do--and she tires easily and feels intense pain easily.  She will continue to need extra help and attention and it will be a little while before she returns to normal weekly activities like school, Cubbies, etc. 
• At the same time, I do not want to, in any way, reinforce in her any feelings of helplessness or dependency.  It will be a struggle to strike the balance between offering her compassion and assistance and encouraging her to work through her pain for her own good so that she can regain her strength, balance, and confidence.
• We are already looking ahead to her next surgery--her first VEPTR expansion surgery in which they will lengthen her rods to keep up with her growth and further straighten her spine.  We need to be able to explain to her in a way that is appropriate for her age and understanding that this will be a process that takes a lot of time.

Enough words.  Here are some photos to encapsulate our experience over these past few weeks.



And here are the before and after x-rays and and "after" photo:

Discharged and Resting at Grammy's House in New Jersey

Just a sentence tonight: we are free, staying in NJ until Wednesday, cannot wait to go hug my big kids and my mom and dad waiting fir us in FL. I hope to post a photo journal of our week at CHOP tomorrow...stay tuned.