When a Snow Day Doesn't Bring Cheers of Joy

For many of us, childhood memories of "snow days" from school are rich and warm.  I can remember, growing up in western Pennsylvania, when they would cancel school the night before based on late night snowfalls and predictions of accumulation through the night.  Those were the nights we would head outside all bundled up with our sleds, and whoop and holler as we sledded for hours down the hill in our back yard with the house's flood lights shining, trying to avoid the creek at the bottom of the hill.  We would come in only when our fingers or toes were numb or nature called...once inside the cozy house my mom would have hot chocolate and warm homemade donuts ready with a variety of toppings and glazes to choose from.  The next morning we could sleep late, though we usually didn't because we were eager to see how much snow had fallen and to get back outside for more snow day fun.

Good memories.  Pure fun, a break from the daily grind. No worries except to make sure we had enough dry mittens and our boots stayed on our feet in the drifts.

Snow days in my home these days, however, have a different feel for me today.

It feels different in part because I'm now the mom and responsible for making sure all the mittens and hats and coats and boots and scarves are at the ready, helping each small person get bundled properly and re-bundled when things fall off or get too wet, helping get unbundled when a potty is needed, and making sure everyone is adequately nourished and hydrated for the day's activities.  I'm also concerned with making sure I am helping my husband clear the cars and driveway, making sure the elderly neighbors are safe and provided for during the storms, and mopping up all the melted snow and ice from the floors from people going in and out.

Making it even more different, however, is the fact that, at least for one of my children, the disruption that a snow day causes to normal routines has the potential to throw her into an emotional tailspin.  Rather than cheers of "hooray!" when a school closure is announced the night prior, I am met with tears and wails of "when will I get to take my spelling test?!" or "oh no!  I'm going to miss art!"

No amount of reasoning or rationalizing with her will help; it's beyond rational thought.  What she most needs is sympathy, unconditional love, hugs, and support.  But those things are not always easy to give when she's in that state...hugs are often met with a rigid pushing away, more tears, and louder whining.

She does enjoy the snow to an extent, but cannot stay outdoors nearly as long as her siblings and friends, which presents the extra challenge of finding entertainment indoors.  Her personality also makes this more difficult than for some kids, as she isn't often able to think of things to do with herself independently.  And all the extra time with neighborhood friends and siblings can be challenging for a kid who struggles a bit to play cooperatively and stay emotional regulated for any length of time.  Not only does she get emotionally dysregulated, but in the end it also makes those with who she is playing wondering what they've done wrong when she starts to get upset.

The end result, for me, is exhaustion.  Exhaustion not just from the shoveling, cooking, entertaining, and snow-related wardrobe issues, but emotional exhaustion from trying to soothe and help this child of mine, trying to help her navigate relationships with siblings and friends, and trying to remain the calm adult presence for her.

I know I must not be alone; surely there are others, possibly reading this post, who can relate?  Please tell me if you can.  Let's help one another.

I don't have many solutions to offer right now, but a few little things I will say I have found that help are:

• my own personal prayer time is even more important to get my heart and mind in order before I greet her for the day.  This has been hard as our sleep schedules are all over the place and I'm  fighting  cold.  I need to kick my butt out of bed earlier.
• making sure she is well fed and hydrated is more important than most days.  A little bit of snack food or a glass of water go such a long way in helping her remain calm.
• being sure to look at her when she's talking or when I'm talking to her so she knows I'm attuned to her helps so much.
• being willing to accept her feelings and her limitations without judgment on my part is huge...it's ok if she doesn't want to play outside anymore; it's ok if she gets really cold really fast; it's ok if she's sad to not be in school.

If you are a mama who can relate, please give me a shout.  And feel free to share this post with others who may be able to relate.

Let's offer one another solutions and ideas.